I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
