brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize