I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
