Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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