Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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