Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
