PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
