Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
