Ambien. No doubt about it.
Screwed.edu
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
