He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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