I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
