I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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