White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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