True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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