I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
