problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
