yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
