You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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