I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
