My brain says no but my pants say off.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
