My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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