just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
