everyone is single if you try hard enough
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
