Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
