I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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