My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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