You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
