i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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