Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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