Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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