WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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