Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
