I could make wine with my vomit
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
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He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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