ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
