Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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