i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize