there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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