i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
