you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
