if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
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Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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