You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"