The best revenge is premature balding
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit