So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip