If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
