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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just another sign I need to get out of this town

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  You were right. It hurts to walk today.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (914): View more from New York

  I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

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• (509): View more from Washington

  im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.

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