Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"