how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
