Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
