Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
