i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
