so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
