dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
