I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
