I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Randomize
