this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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