hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
