Just fell off a train. Bad.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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