Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it's like heaven, but drunker
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
