My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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