His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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