just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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