If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
