Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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