yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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