My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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