Where is the hickey?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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