Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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