My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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