I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
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Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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