none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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