My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sext me about skeletons
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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