OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
