Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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